Chattajck 31: A Glossary of Terms

Lisa Schell Events, Previews Leave a Comment

Helpful Definitions and Terms for Chattjack 31

Helpful Definitions and Terms for Chattjack 31

Doing your first or second Chattajack 31 race in the Tennessee River Gorge? Feeling certain things you just can’t put words on? Hearing phrases associated with the race that sound foreign? Don’t worry, we are here to demystify them for you and offer some reassurance.  What you are experiencing is normal.  And there are terms for it. (Thanks to Dottie Hodges for the assistance in collating this list.)

Feel free to print off a copy and distribute if necessary.

ChattaBarks: Group of paddlers who bond over riding Joe Bark creations, both prone and SUP.

Chattabattle: A paddle battle for a podium spot or just for bragging rights over someone you’ve been “dueling” with all day in the Gorge.

Chattabrain: When all you can think about is race day, and you are totally obsessed with all things Chattajack, to the detriment of everything else. See Chattachatter and Chattatonic.

Chattachatter: All the talk.  Gear.  Conditions. Hydration. Competition. Nutrition. Times.  Currents.  More gear.   Bodily functions.  Course nuances.  All. Of. It.  Most commonly found on social media forums.

Chattacracked: Bonking during the Chattajack 31 race.  IE: “I chattacracked at Mile 22,  I guess I wasn’t eating enough.”

Chattacrap: Any amount of kit needed to get ready for, carry you through and/or help you recover after the race.

Chattadazzled: the star-struck, giddy, possibly embarrassed feeling you get when you realize you are standing in the packet pick up line with some of the best pro paddlers in our sport and they start talking to you, yes, you.

Chattafog: Dense, misty, haze that can settle into the Gorge the morning before the race.  If it is so thick the race must be delayed, it is known simply as “Hell Fog.”

Chattahack: Any great idea or helpful tip for managing nutrition, pain, the call of nature, or anything that might make the 31 miles more “comfortable.” As in “Kim give me the best Chattahack, she suggested I take a beet shot three hours before the race start.”

Chattahappy: That somewhat euphoric yet almost numb feeling you get race day morning, when you realize you are doing this and it’s going to be epic.

Chattamosts: As in host and hostess with the most-ess– refers to race organizers Ben and Kim Friberg.

Chattajacked, Chattajacked Up: As in “I am all Chattajacked up!” – the excitement that precedes the abject terror that comes from realizing you are about to do something extremely epic by paddling 31 miles through the Tennessee River Gorge.  Comes in intermittent waves before race day.  See also Chattajitters.

Chattajitters: See Chattajacked.

Chattaknackered: British version of Chattawhacked. See below.

Chattamap: The race course map and/or the sherpa guide.

Chattamount: The most important thing to do in preparation for the race, or to remember during.  Examples: “Interval training is chattamount to a successful race in the Gorge” or “Avoiding the weeds at Mullen’s Cove is chattamount.”

Chattapal(s): The life long friend(s) you make on the river during the race.

Chattaradarie: The special feeling you have when you suffer for 31 flatwater miles with other paddlers. Best experiences at the awesome after party.

Chattaroma: The smell of your car in the weeks leading up to race day, emanating from an accumulation of wet paddle clothing, PFDs and towels, spilled Tailwind, Hammer Perpetuem or Skratch Labs drink mix, and sweaty heart rate straps.

Chattasad:  The depression that inevitably follows Chattajack, when you get home and realize it is over, that there is nothing to train for, you have time on your hands, and that you won’t see your Chattapals for a long while.

Chattasherpa: The non-paddling person or persons who cater to your every need on race day.  They are invaluable and irreplaceable.

Chattaslapped or Chattasmacked: When someone overtakes you during the race, usually after you have made a crucial error in judgement. It can also be a smackdown caused by weather conditions.  IE: “We decided to cut through the weeds and got Chattaslapped by everyone else in our division.” Or “Man! Those 25 mile per hour headwinds Chattasmacked the heck out of me!”

Chattastank: The very distinct aroma of you and your clothes post-race.

Chattastoke: The elation that comes from participating in this awesome event, best evidenced by extreme enthusiasm and support for your fellow racers.

Chattaswag: The awesome goody bag and t-shirts you get on packet pick up day. And at the finish line, including Finsher’s Medal and chocolate milk.

Chattatonic: The blank stare people (non paddlers) give you when you KEEP talking about Chattajack (see Chattachatter,)

Chattatrapped: When you decide it’s okay to cut through the weeds and then realize it isn’t.

Chattawaffle: When you declare you will never do this again immediately after your race, then the following day, inquire when registration for the next year will open.

Chattawhacked The feeling you have post-race.  It can be experienced at any time after crossing the finish line at Hales Bar, but often does not set in until the day after.  It is sometimes used in regard to overtraining for the race.  It can also be the term downwind-centric paddlers use to describe people who paddle 31 miles on flatwater  without the aid of bumps.

Halfajack: A training paddle of approximately 16 miles.

More helpful terms here.

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